Video Game Review: Rift

There are many MMO’s out there.  Most of them are bad, some are only okay.  For years, World of Warcraft was the quintessence of online RPG’s and all those that attempted to be “fresh” and “better” either failed miserably, or just didn’t catch on.  Enter Rift; a much hyped, much talked about MMORPG that promises to give players a vacation from Azeroth.

Rift is a fast-paced game in which you choose from two factions, three different races in each, and then from four classes:  Warrior, Mage, Rogue and Cleric.  The game opens with an entertaining cutscene and you are then dropped into a complex and lively world.  After you create your character, there is a lot to learn.  It may seem overwhelming, but the intro area is designed to get you acclimated to the way things work in the game, and to give you a taste of how gorgeous this game is.


Rift does borrow a lot from World of Warcraft and the other “good MMO” Warhammer Online, but it never feels like a copycat.  It runs its own course after the familiar things are out of the way, and, honestly the familiarities with borrowed shortcut keys and similar leveling styles makes it easier to get into from WoW.  Since Trion World’s (developer of Rift) goal is to obviously steal players from Blizzard, making things familiar but different is a very smart move. 




With four classes, it doesn’t seem too broad.  That is, until you get into the game.  After you choose your class, your first quest rewards you by allowing you to select from a big list of subclasses.  For example, a Cleric can choose Shaman from the list.  As the intro area proceeds, you will get to choose from two more of these.  In short, within your class you get to mix and match three different subclasses, each with their own abilities and specialties.  This makes for a truly dynamic experience and really does merit multiple tries of the same class, to see how things play differently. 

The quests are standard MMORPG fare.  Kill a few of these, pick up some of these, go talk to this guy, ect.  But the quests are not the focus here, they merely act as something to do between the other events that are occurring constantly during gameplay.  Rifts open, acting as group quests that you can automatically join if you enter the area during the event.  Each rift is divided into stages where the group must take on increasingly more challenging waves of enemies until the Rift closes.  Invasions occur near or in towns where dozens of powerful enemies storm the area, and the players group up, automatically again, to take on these hordes until their numbers are drained.  Footholds are smaller-scale, simpler events that spawn other attacks, these can easily be soloed by a skilled player who can then earn the same rewards as they would from other events.

I, personally, have been playing Rift for a few days now and I am hooked.  It is a very polished, well-balanced and extremely fun to play MMORPG that gives more experienced gamers a nice break from the more paint-by-numbers MMO action in WoW.  The spontaneity of the events makes them more exciting, because you never know when or where they will occur.  This makes for a fast-paced action RPG that provides more than a little fun for fans of this style of game.  If you are unsure of Rift, I can assure you; if you like MMO’s, or maybe even just one MMO, and you like a fun, exciting challenge, Rift is a delightful option.  I may even speak evil and say that it is, in many ways, better than World of Warcraft.  GASPS ABOUND!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Little Late Film Review: The Spy Next Door (2010)

The Spy Next Door (2010, Relativity Media)

I wanted to challenge myself.  I wanted to find a movie to review that I knew I would hate, and rip on it.  I didn’t want to pick on a B-grade, straight-to-DVD disaster, that’s too easy.  While searching I stumbled across a recent film from Brian Levant, director of such “masterpieces” as Jingle Al the Way and both of the terrible Flintstones movies.  Now this guy has made some bad movies, so I knew what I was up against sitting through this The Spy Next Door.  I had a feeling from the start that this was going to be a “Blooper Reel Movie”; that being a movie that runs outtakes at the end to remind us how fun the filming was.  Many of Chan’s films have one, and I wondered if this one would have one too.

The Spy Next Door opens with clips of Jackie Chan being awesome, showing clips of various stunts from other films.  It then cuts to a seemingly normal and very cliché suburban household, complete with the smart kid, the angst-ridden and defiant teen and the bratty younger kid, oh and did I mention they have a pet pig?  How quirky!  The scene is chaotic, trying to show us what this beautiful mother is up against in the morning before taking her kids to school.  Really, it mainly exists to set up the relationships between the characters as it does hold some importance to the story later.  If only the story really mattered here.

Essentially, Gillian (the mother, played by Amber Valletta) is in love with Bob (played by Jackie Chan).  The kids think Bob is a dork, and he does a good job of acting like one.  Little do they know that Bob is actually a CIA agent on loan from Hong Kong.  Why?  It doesn’t matter, he just is.  Bob is given some top secret data by his boss (played by George Lopez).  Bob then offers to baby-sit Gillian’s kids, as an opportunity to connect with them, and the smart son, Ian, steals the data from Bob’s computer thinking it’s some rare concert recording.  Bad guys find out!  Enter the inept goons!  This is all just a contrived setup, however, because this movie exists to have Jackie Chan jump, climb, flip and swing his way around each set. 

The action scenes in the Spy Next Door are okay.  Jackie Chan is good at doing crazy stunts and there are quite a few of them here.  Some of them give him some special effects assistance but most are practical.  A couple of the stunts are actually impressive, but they merely serve as a distraction to remind us we are watching a Jackie Chan movie.  The rest of the film doesn’t fare all that well.




The dialogue is not really all that bad.  It’s filled with clichés, platitudes and really lame puns, but it’s harmless.  Billy Ray Cyrus, who has a small part as an agent, has some of the worst lines, spouting out phony colloquialisms to establish the fact that his character is a country boy.  The two eldest kids aren’t bad, often laying out lines that they are given well, and Madeline Carroll, who plays the teen daughter, does show some signs of true acting chops.  Still, they managed to make a mediocre script worse by having two thirds of the cast speak unintelligibly.  The youngest daughter mumbles and squeaks her lines, the Russian villains are unintelligible and Jackie Chan bumbles and slurs his English, often sounding like a retarded ten year old.

The final major problem with the Spy Next Door is that the 94 minute running time could easily be cut down to an hour if you cut out all of the filler.  Pointless asides, horrible exposition sequences and two particularly overlong scenes, one in a mall, and one in a restaurant, all make up only a portion of the fat this film is laced with.  The film is at its worse when it tries to have heart.  These “sincere” ramblings between characters are boring and uninspired.  They use up two to three minutes to explain something that could have been told to us in a matter of seconds, if at all. 

The Spy Next Door is not the worst film I’ve seen by Brian Levant.  Actually, it may very well be his best movie, but that isn’t saying much considering his track record.  Jackie Chan is out of place here, even though this film was obviously made with him in mind.  There’s a huge disconnect between the main characters and the plot.  Sometimes it even feels like two movies.  This lack of cohesion and the horrendous execution of the dialogue by most of the cast make this one a big loser. 

P.S.  There was a blooper reel at the end of this one too.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 10 (Finale)

10 – Sim City

In 1989 a PC game was released that started a franchise that would be the most successful series of PC games of all time. Sim City is a superb strategy title with depth and a pretty good sense of humor. A few years later the game was re-released on the Super Nintendo and included an attack on your city from Bowser. It was fun, smart and addictive.

09 – Illusion of Gaia

My favorite RPG of all time. Why? I honestly don't know! I just love this game. The storytelling using these lowly 16-bit sprites astounded me. At times the interactive cinematics seemed almost movie-like and included characters you cared about. The real-time gameplay was exciting, and included few bosses, but boy were they a challenge. They weren't throw away fights, they required practice and quick thinking. There was also the levels inspired by real-world locations like the Great Wall of China, Angkor Wat and Inca. I just adore this game.

08 – Contra 3: The Alien Wars

Contra 3 took everything that was great about the first game, threw it in the mix, then injected about 6000mg of anabolic steroids. The levels weren't three minute runs through recycled enemies. They were are series of exciting events bookended by hectic mini-boss battles. The game kept you on your toes from beginning to end and the energetic soundtrack added to the tension.

07 – Super Mario Bros. 3

“Get the STAR Jimmy! THE STAAAAAAR!!!” Super Mario Bros. 3 is the first true sequel to Super Mario Bros. that American audiences got and it was a doozie. The overworld map guided us through secrets and engaging worlds. The airships were intimidating and challenging and the Koopa kids became video game icons. This one is a stunner and the art style, resembling set pieces from a play is truly inventive and just fun to look at.

06 – Mega Man X

X is a great hero. Mega Man X is a great spin off. Taking the Mega Man formula to the next level, ratcheting up the challenge and pace, Mega Man X is a sublime sequel. The game was tense, fun and had a gorgeous look. Not to mention the music was stupendous.

05 – Tetris

The block puzzle game was born and its dawn was marked by the release of Tetris, a skill-based game that forced you to think two moves ahead. The game was challenging, addictive, and iconic. Tetris is still, to this day, one of the most recognizable titles in gaming history and even people that don't play games can find enjoyment in it. It had the perfect blend of pace, challenge, and fun.

04 – Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Zelda went 3D and boy was the result outstanding. The huge open world, epic bosses, mind-bending dungeons and eventful set pieces all made Ocarina of Time a classic. The game is the ultimate release on the Nintendo 64, and pushed the adventure genre forward. If it weren't for this game, the state of exploration in adventure titles could be very, very different. This is the greatest 3D game of all time. Period.

03 – Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

One Zelda title follows another. A Link to the Past was an engrossing, addictive, and quite long title that introduced us to the new face of the Zelda series that would become the formula for the franchise through the decade. The promotion of exploration, the moments of humor, the intimidating Dark World and the exciting dungeons all elevated this one beyond “great game” to “gaming masterpiece”.

02 – Super Mario World

After Super Mario Bros. 3 defined the format of Mario games to come, Super Mario World took it to the next level. Including huge, multi-tiered levels filled with secrets and surprises, fun boss battles, smart level design and the inclusion of our new friend Yoshi, Super Mario World was a true “blast from the past”. Another thing that this game did well was creating a new staple for platforming, introducing clever new conventions that would be used time and again by many games for years to come.

01 – Super Metroid

Alas. Numero uno! Ichiban! Super Metroid. The ultimate adventure shooter. This game is perfect. A great world, menacing bosses, lots of secrets and the best level design in any game, ever. Super Metroid promoted attempting to beat the game's “path” by trying to utilize minor abilities like the wall jump to get around. This game did everything right, and no game has been able to out do what Nintendo did with this game all those years ago.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 9 (20-11)

20 – Sonic the Hedgehog 2

The first Sonic the Hedgehog was a great game. At the time it was hard to imagine it being improved on but its first sequel was a welcome enhancement to its already excellent predecessor. The levels in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 do even better to allow for speedy dashes and promote the mastery of each track-like zone. The inclusion of the slower but more jumping-friendly Tails was also a great bonus.






19 - Final Fantasy VII

Many consider this one to be the ultimate RPG. I love it, though it isn't my favorite. Still, FFVII is a outstanding achievement in storytelling in games and brings us one of the most iconic villains in the history of.. well... anything. Sephiroth was a detestable, sick individual and we loved him for it. His dialogue was insane but it was also a little sad, and we sympathized with all of the characters, including the villains. The writing here made us care about them, which made it that much harder to bear when one of them was ruthlessly killed. At that point, things got personal.



18 – Super Castlevania 4

Of all of the great Castlevania titles, the fourth on the SNES is easily my favorite. This game was a stand-out classic. It polished the gameplay of the already excellent series, upped the resolution and gave us some great levels. Still, the thing I probably remember the most about this great game is its superb soundtrack. This game has some of the best music I have ever heard in a video game, and that's saying a lot.



17 – Mega Man 3

On the subject of amazing game soundtracks... Mega Man 3 is my favorite Mega Man title of the 8-bit era. The levels were exciting, the bosses fun, the abilities were fresh and who doesn't love Rush? Each zone has new ideas and a fresh theme, further enhanced by the amazing music.







16 – Chrono Trigger

Chrono Trigger is a classic. The time-bending story, strange characters and team-oriented battle system all make up one of the best games of the 16-bit era. From start to finish Chrono Trigger remains exciting. There are few RPGs from the 16-bit age that still hold their appeal after almost two decades. Chrono Trigger holds a special place in my heart also because Lavos is such a cool final boss. On top of all that, the game boasted a number of different endings, based on your play, something that was unheard of at its time.

15 – Myst

I'm not a huge fan of point and click adventures, but Myst is a special exception. There are a few reasons why I like this game. It was beautiful when it came out, it had a challenge level that was just right, the puzzles weren't impossible, but they did make you think. The twist ending, if you do the wrong thing, is pretty clever, and the level design was inventive and breathtaking. On a side note, I read the three novels that tell the story and they are outstanding. While the story seems weak here, read the books and your attitude will change.






14 – Doom

John Carmack's Hell-bound shooter is an exciting, energetic thrill filled with morphing levels, intimidating baddies and a horrifying scarcity of ammo. Doom is the first-person shooter that defined the genre all those years ago, and it still remains an exciting challenge to this day. I must say, I do love the B.F.G. It is so handy when you need to kill that pesky Cyberdemon.






13 – Half Life

“Gordon Freeman, in the flesh!” This one is spectacular. Half Life is Valve's stellar first-person shooter that follows the adventure of a lowly scientist who accidentally opens a portal to an alternate dimension during an experiment on a strange artifact. As Gordon Freemen you fight your way through hordes of strange beings and unscrupulous agents who are out to kill you. Half Life was a stunning step forward in storytelling in games and a huge source of fan-made mods that brought out the multiplayer and took online gaming to the mainstream.




12 – Contra

Konami's classic action title Contra gave us the spread gun, the perfection of the co-op shooter and the famous Konami Code. The game is a wonderfully balanced and challenging game that was, at its time, an innovative game that pushed the shooter genre forward. For years it was the greatest shooter ever released and to this day people still strive for high scores and that elusive perfect run.





11 – Final Fantasy VI

Final Fantasy VI (or III if you don't know what the hell you're talking about) is Squaresoft's ultimate masterpiece. The game pushed the graphical powers of the Super Nintendo to the limits, gave us a huge list of memorable characters, and introduced us to the greatest video game villain of all time, Kefka. He was so mad, so vile that he actually succeeded in destroying the world. This was a memorable game with one of the most iconic final battles in video games.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 8 (30-21)

30 – Mega Man 2

The Blue Bomber returned for his first sequel in 1988. The game was bigger, expanding the boss roster from 6 to 8, louder with a memorable soundtrack that ranks amongst the greatest ever, more challenging with some clever level design and brutal bosses in later levels and was just all around more fun. Mega Man 2 is one of the greatest game sequels of all time, surpassing its predecessor in every way. The series will continue to stay strong through the 90's and will become one of the mainstays in gaming and Capcom's flagship franchise.



29 – Psychonauts

Tim Schafer is one of the most talented game designers of all time and Psychonauts is his Sistine Chapel. This utterly bizarre gaming experience is just so clever, so inventive, so funny and ever so fun to play that it will remain ingrained in your psyche for years after you play it. Psychonauts takes on cliches from video games, movies, television and does it with wit and with charm. Add some truly fun characters, especially the hero Rasputin (“Raz”) and you have an exercise in perfection in platforming. There are few 3D platforming titles that have resonated with me as much as Psychonauts has.



28 – Gunstar Heroes

Gunstar Heroes is a fast-paced run-and-gun shooter in the vain of Contra. GH's advantage over most other scrolling shooters of its era, however, was its energetic action and kinetic level design. High-speed dashes through mines, speedy slides down the faces of pyramids and frantic scaling of buildings all ratchet up the action here. Gunstar Heroes is a relentless shooter that boasts intelligent action set pieces and unforgiving difficulty.





27 - Final Fantasy X

Always a Final Fantasy fan, I was truly excited about the series' first foray into the next generation on the Playstation 2. Final Fantasy X is a delightful story with captivating characters and solid turn-based combat. While more linear than traditional Final Fantasy titles, it did away with the world map, seamlessly linking the areas together by geography, so the pilgrimage you take actually felt like a, well, pilgrimage. The story undertones of theocracy vs. freedom, prejudice vs. understanding, and love vs. tradition all give the game a depth that was rare in a video game story, and the relationships between the characters in the story were very convincing, never feeling forced. While Final Fantasy X is not the best game in the series overall, in the storytelling front, it is an exceptionally executed example of how games can be used to tell a great tale, not merely using the story to carry the action.

26 – Portal

First-person shooters have been an ultra-popular genre for years, especially with PC gamers. Portal took the action of the series and used it to force you to put on your thinking cap. Emphasizing puzzle solving over action, Portal employs brilliant level design and flawless physics to force you to think your way through each level instead of just trigger-happily gunning down faceless baddies.  Oh, and I should also mention that I could not stop laughing while playing through this one.  Truly brilliant.





25 - Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

Castlevania returned to RPG form with Symphony of the Night and did so with such excellence that it remains one of the greatest action titles ever made. The mix of exploration and growth in SotN is solid and steady. The castle was large enough to be engrossing, but not so large that it is impossible to navigate. The soundtrack was stunning and the game had just the right amount of challenge. It was blended just right to be a classic.






24 – Shadow of the Colossus

Where do I begin? When the folks at Sony were pitched a game that was nothing but 16 boss battles with lots of galloping through vacant fields in between, I wonder how it went over. I'm so glad this game exists. It is my all time, favorite PS2 game, it is my favorite game from the last 10 years, and it is a perfect example of how, when you just take a chance, a truly wonderful idea can become a truly epic game. With sixteen of the most ingenious, intimidating, and glorious boss battles in the history of video games, Shadow of the Colossus will remain one of the most beautiful and enrapturing gaming experiences ever.



23 – Super Mario 64

The greatest 3D platformer of all time was made with love, and it shows. While the series did veer slightly from many of the traditions of the original games, it managed to veer from one great series of ideas to another. The brilliant level design will be the gauge by with other platformers will be judged to this day and it will spark the new ideas that other games released since could only attempt to replicate. There are few games that remain as fun to play after dozens of play-throughs as Super Mario 64 does.

22 – Starcraft

If you asked Blizzard in the 90's if they thought this single RTS would become a spectator's sport in a foreign nation, I wonder if they had any idea? Starcraft is the most polished and celebrated strategy game of all time. It was built upon an already solid framework with Warcraft as its foundation. Blizzard struck gold with this title and has managed to milk its success for more than a decade. Starcraft easily has had the strongest and longest run of any singular release in the entire gaming industry's history and its easy to understand why with a single playthrough.



21 - The Sims

The Sims is a smart, fun and endearing title where you embody the life of one person, or the lives of a whole family, and lead them through their careers and their relationships with each other and with the other Sims in their town. The game boasted a great deal of customization and the growth of the Sims and their home gave a tactile model of your progress through the game. The Sims is a classic example of how to do something very different, very, very well.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 7 (40-31)

40 - Duck Hunt

When I first played this game I was amazed by the fact that I could shoot a gun at my TV and it would work! I couldn't believe it! It was so much fun too. It still is to this day. I especially enjoy the web-based mod that lets you kill the dog. I hate that freaking dog.

39 - The Legend of Zelda

This adventure classic created a genre. Inspired by his own forest adventures as a child, Miyamoto created a franchise that set the tone for all adventure games to come. The top-down view was not exactly new, but it felt like a new take on an old idea, one that was expanded to a massive extent. The dungeons were intimidating, the bosses seemed so epic, the items and upgrades gave the sense of a real growth in power and the world of Hyrule was, at the time, just so huge. It was filled with hidden passages and secrets and emphasized exploration over a linear hand-held approach. Then, after you've done it all, the second quest comes along to turn up the difficulty, and the fun!

38 - Super Mario Kart

The ultimate racing game that wasn't a simulation. We were used to games like Rad Racer, where we drove cars across roads, dodging traffic all the while, trying to beat the clock. With the onset of the fantasy racer with Mario Kart and, to a lesser extent, F-Zero (which was still a good game but inferior to Mario's foray) gave players a chance to race in a relaxed and fun environment against friends and challenging opponents. Mario Kart succeeded in creating a whimsical and exciting racing experience that is lasting and engaging.

37 - Sonic the Hedgehog

In 1991, Mario was king. Since the release of the NES in 1985, Mario had appeared in over 40 titles in around the world. When Sega announced their foray into the 16-bit era, they were met with some skepticism in the U.S. as they did not share the success here that they did in Japan. Then came Sonic the Hedgehog. I should be able to stop there. The levels were huge, multi-tiered and challenging; the music sounded like music and not like a bunch of beeps, the speed was literally insane, the bosses were fun and there was just so much to do. Sega struck gold in 1991 and the franchise continues to this day, though they haven't been able to recreate the amazing title that was released almost two decades ago.

36 - Simpsons (Arcade)

Like the aforementioned Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade title I mentioned previously on my list, the Simpsons was a major quarter-suck for me. I think back on all of the nameless impoverished villages that could have been fed with the capital I wasted on this game and think: “What was the third boss again? I can't remember.” I love this one a lot; an old school beat-'em-up with four playable characters: Bart, Marge, Homer and Lisa, trying to save Maggie. It was actually a spoof of the Ninja Turtles Game to an extent, also made by Konami, it shared many of its characteristics and, though I'm not sure, I think it shared its game engine. I actually have forgotten most of this game because it's so hard to find and I haven't played it in probably about 15 years, but I think back and remember how much I loved this title. So good. So, so good.

35 - Mike Tyson's Punch Out

Back when sports games usually involved indiscernible humanoid blips shuffling across the screen accompanied by a sound effect similar to the raking of leaves, Mike Tyson's Punch Out gave us a fun boxing title with distinct characters, a good challenge and some truly memorable moments. Nintendo re-released the game at a later date replacing Iron Mike with the much lamer Mr. Dream, but the game was still great. Still, I can't figure out why they gave Mac a pink jogging suit. That just doesn't make sense to me.

34 - Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

This game could very well be the greatest 3D action-shooter ever released. GASPS ABOUND!!! I know, I know. That is is certainly a shocking statement and with competition like Gears of War and Call of Duty out there, it has some competition. However, Uncharted 2 is the most cinematic, well presented, most excellently designed action title I have played in more than ten years, and the characters are the most well-written and naturalistic I have seen in a game. The action set pieces are breathtaking and feel less like a game and more like an interactive movie. Never before have I been as in awe of a game as I was the first time I picked this masterpiece up. Well, there was one other time. We'll touch on that one later...

33 – Columns

I love casual games. Puzzlers and strategy games were all the rage back in the 90s due to the massive success of Tetris and Columns was Sega's foray into this world. What resulted was a fantastic puzzle game that was easy to learn and very fun to master. Any game that forced you to use so much of your brain is good, any game that trains you in reaction, response and reason is even better. Columns is one such game, and boy is it addictive.

32 - Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

I love Castlevania, I always have, and the third installment introduced us to some new heroes that we can meet and ally with. Each has their own unique abilities, pros and cons. Throw in some terrific boss fights, some wonderfully polished level design and a breathtaking soundtrack and you have the formula for one of the greatest video games of all time. While Dracula's Curse is not my favorite in the series, it's definitely up there, and I will say that this game got its fair share of my attention as a kid.

31 - Life Force

Space ships, dragons, volcanoes, giant sphinxes. How is this not number one? I love Konami's days on the NES. They made some great games then and Life Force was one of their best. This title, which was actually Gradius II, is a stunning space shooter with plenty of challenge and some memorable boss fights. On a side note, the soundtrack, which I love, was developed by the same guy that did the music for Suikoden 1 & 2, and one of my favorite game soundtracks, Contra III: the Alien Wars.

A little aside...

I will be continuing my list of my favorite video games next week. I apologize for my lengthy absence as I have been very sick over this past month.  If you have been checking back, I assure you I will be posting regularly again after next week.  Thanks for your support.