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Thursday, January 6, 2011

People's Choice Awards Backlash!!!

Okay, so as the unceremonious award ceremony began, early into the program an award was given to Adam Sandler.  To that I scoffed.  I continued to scoff, curse and grunt throughout the two-hour program.  The entire event was so classless, with D-List actors popping up as “cameos,” shameless product plugs for pharmacies, makeup and cell phones lame musical performances and even worse nominees and winners.  The entire event was about as enjoyable as a colonoscopy given without anesthesia by a blind gorilla with Tourette syndrome.

To say Adam Sandler deserves an award for any performance is a stretch, though some are definitely worse than others.  The fact that he received unfettered applause from the audience comprised of a few dozen “celebrities” and a few thousand fourteen year old girls is outstanding to me.  I just can’t understand how people’s taste can be so bad!  I know some will say “that’s your opinion” but I really don’t give a crap.  The fact is, there are talented people, and there are untalented people.  For an example of untalented people, let’s look at the Kardashians. 

Keeping Up With the Kardashians won what could be considered the unofficial joke award of the PCA, “Favorite Guilty Pleasure.”  I say “joke” because the other nominees included Kathy Griffin and the douche bags from the Jersey Shore.  At this point I figured, given the competition, the Kardashians winning is about the least harmful result. 

The awards for “actors” where equally suspect.  The fact that the award for Actress in a Drama Series went to Lisa Edelstein of House fame was satisfying, but only because the other nominees where a lot worse.  Glee got comedy, which is fine, but I would have liked to see 30 Rock win that.  Johnny Depp won Favorite Actor, but he hasn’t really been in a satisfying film in a few years so that win baffles me.  Though, it could have been worse because both of the male no-talent hacks from Twilight where nominated along side him.  When Depp’s name was announced I let out a breath of relief as that dreadful emo-fest of a “saga” didn’t receive accolade, but then, to my utter horror…

Kirsten Stewart won Favorite Actress.

Twilight.  I won’t go into too much detail into how much I despise this franchise, I‘ll just give it one paragraph.  I will say, I’m not the only one who hates this series, but I’m not just one of those haters that dislike it because it’s “in.”  I actually think it is cinematic trash with talent-free stars that are getting famous for acting badly and mumbling out horrible dialogue disguised as “arty“.  With infinitely superior films like An Education being ignored by American audiences, this bothers me.  You won’t get good movies if you settle for screen-trash like Twilight.  The producers and director will continue to vomit out one sequel after another until the franchise stops making money.

I was irritated by that.  Then the nominees for Favorite Movie, the big award of the night, where announced.  Toy Story, ok.  I actually didn’t see this one, not because I refused to, I just never got around to it in theatres, which is why it’s coming via DVD and you will get my full review when I receive it.  Now, Inception.  I think I’m the only person in America that wasn’t impressed by this film.  I didn’t hate Inception, I just wasn’t blown away by it.  The beginning was good, I like the idea behind it, but it was cut fast, rapidly, as if it were in a hurry to get through the exposition so the actors can start shooting things.  Then the remainder of the film is an extended chase scene and shootout that didn’t really seem to take the concept of a “dream world” far enough.  It just seemed kind of lazy.  You can defend it all you want, but after thirty straight minutes of running and shooting passed, I didn’t care anymore.  As for the final three nominees (which included the aforementioned emo bane of my existence), give me a break.  These fan-service/Hollywood-studio-pleasing nominations are pretty sad.  The Social Network was ignored, as was True Grit and the King’s Speech.  Why?  Because these films where nominated by votes from the “people.” 

The winner of Favorite Movie is what stunned me the most.  The fact that Twilight: Eclipse won is so amazing to me, yet it is also unsurprising.  The fans of this franchise continue to flock to the less-than-mediocre mess on screen.  This is what happens when “fans” choose.  The fact that great films are snubbed for the likes of Iron Man 2 and Twilight is pretty frustrating to true film fans.  If the nominees where based on actual talent, things would be a lot different.  But that would create a dilemma for the folks over there who run this mess of an awards show.

See, I mentioned earlier that this ceremony was really just a bunch of advertisements for teenager-friendly products and retailers.  They want these teenagers to watch so that they can be sold stuff.  The easiest way to do this is to get them involved and to nominate the crap they like.  That way the kiddies (and hack media maniacs like myself who put themselves through this crap) can be sold stuff. 

Hey!  Queen Latifa likes that cell phone!  I want one!  MOMMY!?!?!? 

The People’s Choice Awards used to be a valid media event.  There where nominees that fans liked, but for good movies, TV and music.  Today, it’s just a two-hour commercial filled with praise for bad movies, mediocre television and pop stars.  I am obviously not the target audience for this program, but still, if kids were exposed to superior movies, they’d have superior taste.  Unfortunately for my nerves, they don’t. 


  1. Honestly, I watched to have something to bitch about. I ignore this "awards show" annually, but decided ranting about it would be enjoyable. Kind of like why I put myself through some of the movies I do.