My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 4 (70-61)

70 – Gradius

Gradius is a delightfully simple but addictive and challenging scrolling shooter from Konami. When it was released on the NES there were still very few really good games in this genre and it was a huge breath of fresh air. This is the title that got me addicted to the S.H.U.M.P. / Bullet Hell genre of shooters that would grow to be hugely popular in Japan as it gave skilled players a platform to show off their gaming chops.

69 - Final Fantasy IX

I had a weird experience with Final Fantasy IX. When it was first released I actually did not like it. I thought it was slower than Final Fantasy VIII and story and design-wise, a step backwards. After I swallowed my pride and played through the game from start to finish, I realized it is a beautiful, well written, funny and fun-to-play RPG with great characters, a wonderful soundtrack and a unique story with some great twists.

68 - Gran Turismo 4

Gran Turismo was already a favorite series of mine when this one came out, but nothing could prepare me for how perfect, how beautiful, and how polished this game was. Everything was just right. The uber-realistic graphics, even on the PS2, were inconceivably good (I looked at the press releases before the game came out and was calling “B.S.” on the so-called screenshots; boy was I wrong), and I had no idea that eventually games would look better. Still, at the time this game came out, nothing looked better. Nothing.

67 - Rock Band - Series

I love music. I play guitar, bass, keyboard and am currently teaching myself violin. I find that anything that makes people interested in possibly playing an instrument is a great thing, and Guitar Hero was a great start. It would be a few years until Harmonix would release Rock Band. It was in a huge box for a video game, which was filled with a cumbersome array of bits and pieces. After you assemble (YES. ASSEMBLE) the game you were ready to experience a layered, challenging, fun game that brought people of all ages and skill levels together. I think Rock Band is responsible for more than just the expansion of the popular music genre. I believe Rock Band is one of the first modern titles that would bridge the gap for gamers and non-gamers. Since anybody can pick up a mic and sing, you didn't have to have magic fingers to be a pro, and that made less experienced players a match for the gaming hotshots. This made Rock Band and it's even superior sequel Rock Band 2 a great game for families.

66 - Super Mario Bros.

This classic game was a huge step forward in gaming in 1985. It taught us that games could be more than vague blips and blocks on the screen, and video game sound could be more that scratches, bumps and beeps. It was an addictive, exciting, fast-paced game placed in a strange world with characters that were captivating and are now staples in the industry. Honestly, if it wasn't for this game, the video game industry, which was fledgling before the NES and this game was released, would probably be dead. Period.

65 - Street Fighter 2

The arcade fighter classic from Capcom was so huge in its day that you literally could not get into arcades; the crowds and lines for this game were that long. However, the early 1990's were not good to arcades. The dreaded drought and closing of arcades from the early 1980's returned, this time not due to disinterest more so than the massive popularity of home gaming and the onset of the 16-bit generation of consoles. Street Fighter 2 began appearing in American arcades in 1994 and all of the sudden, the barren, empty arcades (who were resorting to selling their cabinets to stay in business) were booming. Street Fighter 2 was just one of those games that felt like it would be the start of something fresh; something new. It had a roster that was, at its time, huge; each of the characters were different (for the most part); and it boasts the onset of a new control scheme that would remain the staple for fighters to this very day. Street Fighter 2 would go on to become one of the most successful and famous franchises in video game history and would pave the way for literally hundreds of fighters to come.

64 - Streets of Rage 2

Face it, beat 'em ups are fun. I love them. I think they just feel different than other games. Arguably the best beat 'em up released on consoles during the 16-bit generation was Streets of Rage 2. Also known as Bare Knuckle, Streets of Rage was a hit on consoles so naturally it would spawn a sequel, thus came Streets of Rage 2. With four characters to choose from, this title would be the Double Dragon killer fans of the genre were waiting for. It was fun, pretty to look at and filled with unique bosses and challenges. Plus, who didn't love Skate. I love me some Skate.

P.S. Rollerblades are for dorks now.

63 - Star Ocean 2

A ton of endings, a cast of great characters, an engaging story and fun combat all make up this delightful RPG on the Playstation. Released by Enix in 1998, this title holds a special place in my heart. It just brings back so many memories. The pseudo-real-time combat was just part of it. There's a tone to this game that was just different. It reminded me of my favorite RPG of all time, which will show up later in this list (I won't reveal it yet though). The storytelling was just so good.

62 - Earthworm Jim

Doug Tennaple's over-the-top, funny, and challenging platformer just hits all the right notes for me. The set pieces are very amusing, filled with imagery that was reminiscent of franchises like Ren and Stimpy, and huge, multi-tiered levels that were cluttered with enemies and dangers. Plus, don't tell me you didn't laugh during the battle with Evil the Cat. He literally has 9 lives. Even though he wasn't exactly hard, his battle was truly memorable.

61 - Final Fantasy

Squaresoft fell under some hard times in the late 1980's. After a few titles launched but did not do well they were at risk of going out of business. They released Final Fantasy as a last ditch effort to stay afloat. The tile came from the thought that “this was it”. If Final Fantasy did not work, it would actually be our “final” release. Well... This simple, understated title would spawn a huge list of sequels and spin-offs, tons of famous characters and a famously good series of soundtracks that would get the orchestral treatment and become a touring live concert. The turn-based combat was perfect, giving the player the option to build their own balanced team and put them to task against a list of varying enemies with an actual back story. After “proving your worth” you embark on a quest where things go from awesome to even... more... awesome. I still think Chaos is one of the coolest looking baddies ever too. He just looks like he will eat your eyeballs.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 3 (80-71)

80 – Infamous

The action genre is filled with mediocre third-person titles. They are often riddled with bugs, camera and control issues and an all around bad story. Sucker Punch, the guys behind Sly Cooper, said “Screw YOU!” to those notions and released what is one of the greatest video games of the last ten years. Infamous is an epic action/adventure with a wonderful hero/antihero that is filled with amazing action, totally awesome powers, and all around fun gameplay. You never feel bogged down by the combat because you are constantly trying to see how far you can push Cole's powers.

79 - Air Fortress

Air Fortress is an exceptionally simple title. Each level is divided into two sections: a Defender-style side scrolling space shooter and a side-scrolling platformer with some nice anti-gravity elements added in. The game does the same thing over and over in every level yet it never gets boring due to its perfect difficulty curve, and solid gameplay.

78 - Quake 2

By the late 1990's the first-person shooter genre was already well established. There were several popular franchises that were consistently churning out new titles. The first Quake, from Doom developers Id Software, was a success, and it was no surprise that they released a sequel. There was something different about Quake 2 however. It may have been the first time I picked up a sequel to an FPS and was just completely blown away, immediately considering it to be superior to its predecessor.

77 - Little Big Planet

I love to create stuff. I create blog posts, I paint, I play instruments; it's just me. Little Big Planet is the first major title that allows you to customize almost everything in the game right out of the box, and share your creations on an easy-to-use, always accessible network. Online you have access to a seemingly limitless series of creations from other players. Some of them were so clever that you just get that feeling that the fun will never end. The levels that make up the main portion of the game are equally exciting, filled with hidden unlockables that keep you returning again and again.

76 - Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge

When Crimson Skies came out, I was sort of indifferent about playing it. The box art was cool though! It was after reading a review that I decided it may be worth checking out. I played Crimson Skies and was immediately drawn in by the tight, easy-to-handle controls, fun missions, interesting characters and exciting multiplayer. Crimson Skies was somewhat of a sleeper, but those who played it know how fantastic this game really is.

75 – Alundra

Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (a game that has about a 50/50 chance of showing up later... he he he) is such a good game. The franchise was immensely popular so naturally there were wannabes. Alundra was a very tight Zelda clone that is one of the few attempts at imitation that actually did it right. It looked great, had a good story, boasted fun gameplay elements and a ratcheted-up challenge level, especially later in the game.

74 – Rampage

This one is an arcade staple. This Godzilla-inspired punch fest was chaotic, clever and just plain fun. Some games are so simple they are perfect, and this game does everything just right, without any excess. The humor and design of the game made it more accessible and the arcade graphics looked really good for its time. Plus who wouldn't love to play a giant who knocks down buildings? Really?

73 - Devil May Cry 3

Two sequels in this franchise picks up the pace even more. Devil May Cry 3 is a very solid action game that has a great deal of variety in the combat. Encouraging the player to find creative uses of each style in the game (the game forced you to play your best so that you can achieve that SSS rating). Dante is also a very fun character. He ranks among my favorite characters of the last ten years. After the disappointing Devil May Cry 2, Capcom succeeded in bringing the franchise back with bombast.

72 - SSX 3

Snowboarding games never resonated with me. I didn't get into 1080 on the N64, I didn't like Playstation's Cool Boarders; hell, I didn't even really care much for the first two SSX titles. It was the way the controls felt to me, and the lack of freedom I felt in those games. SSX 3 came out and changed all of that. The open-world (err... mountain?) design, great characters (many of which were returning from the existing franchise), and fun, newly-designed missions, put this one up on top for me. I still love this game to this day.

71 - Blaster Master

Ha, ha! Sunsoft. You guys are sooooo funny! Blaster Master is an awesome mix of platforming and third person action-shooting from the NES era. As you played through the game you unlocked new abilities, steadily increasing your powers as the levels went along. The bosses were intimidating as well, and some of them were legitimately difficult. It's funny that the game was so good that funny ol' Sunsoft recycled the shooter portion's engine for several other games including Fester's Quest and the video game adaptation of Gremlins 2; because we wouldn't notice. AH-HA!

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part 2 (90-81)

90 - Capcom Vs. SNK 2

Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 did not make my list. GASP! This game, however, (obviously) did. Why did I pick this one over MvC2? Capcom Vs. SNK 2 is a solid, tight fighter that was just more well balanced and less luck-based than MvC2. Also, unlike its competition, CvSNK2 required you to actually execute the special moves, instead of simply pressing a single button on the controller to pull of a screen-filling death-dealer. Also, I liked the lineup on this one a little better because it featured some of my favorite characters from King of Fighters like Iori Yagami and King.

89 - Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater was a fun skateboarding title that came out of left field and became a massive success. Its first sequel took everything the first title did right and ratcheted up the pace, level size, trick list, skater selection, goals and even the already fun licensed soundtrack. The series has had a long life, going on for over a decade, and while it has fizzled in recent years, struggling to keep up with an evolving industry, this particular title still holds up. I still pop it in my Playstation on occasion. Just as a pick-up-and-play title, it is a classic.

88 - Kid Icarus

As a kid, I wasn't able to buy my own video games, and there was one video store, called Video Oasis, about five minutes from my house that I would get an opportunity to visit regularly. The video game selection was small, filling about one shelf, and they did not have this title. I actually first heard about the character Kid Icarus (which wasn't even his name) on the amazingly silly extended Nintendo commercial, Captain N the Game Master. It would be more than ten years later before I would play this title and boy was I blown away. The vertical level design, epic level of challenge and perky theme song still resonate with me to this day.

87 - Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando

By 2003, the Sony action-platformer trifecta of Naughty Dog, Sucker Punch and Insomniac, were already becoming a household name. The first Ratchet and Clank was a very fun platforming title with some amazing level design. As soon as I landed in that massive futuristic city, with buildings that just kept going into the distance and hundreds of flying cars in every direction, I was spending more time taking in the scenery than I was actually playing the game. Add some very funny story sequences, great writing and some of the coolest weapons ever and you have a true classic.

86 - Burnout Paradise

This game. I was already a Burnout fanboy when this game came out. When I got my hands on the extreme speed, open-world gameplay, and exciting soundtrack I was confident in calling Burnout Paradise my favorite title of the series. I haven't completed this title yet, mainly because I'm just letting it stretch out. When I'm bored I'll turn on my PS3 and do one or two events then set it down. This title is pick-up-and-play at its best.

85 - World of Warcraft

Time suck. Life suck. Soul suck. I'm not sure why I like this game. I just know I'm an addict; a very, very sad addict. I see the commercial for that lame rehab reality show with celebrities crying like little girls in front of Dr. Drew and consider them lucky they aren't addicted to WoW (or ARE they?!). I'm still playing this one today, thank you Cataclysm for giving me more reasons to lose hours of my life on this useless time-waster. I just can't help myself...

84 - Sly Cooper and the Thievius Racoonus

Yay! Another one of Sony's platformers, this one from the very talented folks at Sucker Punch, Sly Cooper was a different game for its time. The episodic storyline was done like a Saturday morning cartoon, the cell-shaded graphics made it look like one, and there were even little episode titles for each level. The level design was also top-notch, focusing on a combination of acrobatics, stealth and speed. This is one of my favorite PS2 games of all time!

83 - Halo 2

I loved Halo, though I didn't play it until 1 year after its release (that's when I finally picked up my X-Box). Halo 2 was Halo on steroids. Dropping the rest of the title (“Combat Evolved”, how many people actually remember that anyway?) in lieu of a numbered series, this Bungie title brings dual-wielding, more vehicles, and online multiplayer to the mix. This is one amazing game. Also being able to play as a Covenant character was also pretty darn cool.

82 - Fallout 3

Bethesda apparently likes to make games that overwhelm because this one has so much depth, so many quests, and so many characters that it feels like it could have been broken down into an extended four-title shooter series. Instead, they made a massive, visceral RPG experience and did it in a nuked-out Washington D.C. Way to raise the bar guys! It is probably going to be a while before an RPG is released that can compete with this one, but we'll see...

81 - Mortal Kombat 3

Mortal Kombat was a ground-breaking and controversial fighter that was like Street Fighter filled with dead bodies. The sequel added more characters which resulted in a list that was, at the time, just overwhelming. The third in the franchise added even more new characters, a complex and fun combo system and even more new types of Fatalities, and it all culminated in a perfect combination to qualify it as one of the best fighting games of all time.

My 100 Favorite Video Games of All Time: Part I (100-91)

This is a newly revised list of my favorite video games of all time. It is different than the other one I made a while ago that is not on this blog.

The List

100 - Arch Rivals

I don't watch the NBA. I just don't have the interest. However, if they were punching each other in the face over and over to get the ball, it may be a little more interesting. Thus is the theme in this classic sports game on the NES. Some games are fun for sheer novelty value, this is one of those games. It is also one of the few sports titles on this list.

99 - Maniac Mansion

The adventure genre was exceptionally popular as we turned from the 80's into the 90's. Ron Gilbert did a great job of bringing the PC genre to the NES with the port of Maniac Mansion. It's absurd, funny and has a few moments that just may make some gamers jump! This one is a must play if you missed it.

98 - Gorf (Arcade)

I wonder how many people who read this article remembers or even heard of this one. Me? I spent fifteen years of my life playing it at my dentist's office. No joke. A cabinet title with only 5 levels and an actual last boss. For early 80's titles that was rarer than you may think, and this one is one of my favorites of that era.

97 - Metal Arms: Glitch in the System

This sleeper from the X-Box/PS2 generation is one of the best games of its era, but nobody played it. Metal Arms was a pretty challenging third person action game with platforming gameplay and controls modeled after Halo. It had a lot of great boss battles, some seriously tough choke points and some really solid multiplayer that is like Halo with platforming (redundant?). Despite the multiplayer, the lengthy single player story will keep you busy for hours on end. If you missed this one, you need to check it out.

96 – Fable

I love Peter Molyneux's games. Fable is his best. When Fable came out, there was nothing like it. The extremely deep story mode that altered the character and the events depending on how you played was still new at that time and while the arguably inferior Knights of the Old Republic did do the same thing, it just didn't feel as visceral as this one. I didn't click with my character on that game like I did with mine in Fable, which is why I consider Fable to be the better of the two. But that's just me.

95 - Kingdom Hearts

When I first heard about this game I was relatively indifferent. I didn't care all that much for the Disney angle, and the fact that Final Fantasy characters were in the game didn't sell me on it. My attitude changed when I played the game. I love this title, and why some may think the sequel is better (in some ways it is) it didn't feel as fresh as the first Kingdom Hearts. Despite some slightly lazy level design the game was, in its entirety, a wonderful experience. Can anyone say Sephiroth in real time? Anyone?

94 - Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy

Super Mario 64 created a mission-based platforming genre that continues to this day. Jak and Daxter is a very solid entry into this genre with beautiful and distinct level design, an interesting story and some great characters. The missions varied and it just felt familiar enough without coming off as a played out idea. Jak and Daxter is one of my all time favorite PS2 titles.  Oh and did I mention it's from Naughty Dog?  I LOVE NAUGHTY DOG!

93 - Tecmo Bowl

Madden. Psh. Tecmo Bowl was the shit. This was the first title to have an actual NFL license and offered twelve major NFL teams and their players. It had pseudo-realistic simulation of each player's strength and weaknesses and unlike Football (Another popular title of the same sport from that era), it helped to have knowledge of football as a sport to play it. Super Tecmo Bowl was a slightly more polished and fleshed out version of this one, but it's the original that more or less started the sports-simulation genre.

92 - Civilization 4

Sid Meyers is a smart guy. Civilization 4 is a deep, interesting and fun game that simulates the growth of nations throughout history. With multiple ways to achieve victory and a number of ways to reach those goals, it is a clever and very intricate title. Civ 4 did a lot to make more elements of the game more accessible, and this elevated it to superiority over its predecessors. I have not played 5 yet, but I'm planning on it.

91 - Double Dragon

Go, Billy Lee! Go! This brawler killed. It was just hard enough to require you to push your skills while being one of the most consistently solid games of its era. Double Dragon still holds up today as a great brawler and don't tell me you didn't love the music from level 1. If you say no, then you are a liar!

A Little-Late Film Review: Balls of Fury

Balls of Fury (2007, Rogue Pictures); Pic:www.imdb.com

This one is sort of by request... ish. I, honestly, forgot all about this movie.  Well, without further ado, Balls of Fury...


Balls of Fury is an inept and forgettable comedy from Robert Ben Garant of Reno 911 fame.  The film focuses on a washed up child-athlete named Randy Daytona (played by Dan Fogler) in his early thirties brought back into the sport of ping pong, which he left after a humiliating defeat twenty years earlier.  F.B.I. agent Rodriguez (played by George Lopez) gets Randy into the underground world of elite table tennis to get to an international suspect named Feng (played by the usually likeable Christopher Walken), who is also responsible for Randy’s father’s murder.  This is the plot of the film, or should I say, the groundwork for a shoddy, unfunny spoof film that falls victim to many of the very things it should be making fun of.

Dan Fogler is channeling Jack Black’s slightly slower brother here, swaying and mugging into the camera.  Fogler is very unfunny in this performance; his acting comparable to that of a mascot in a local used car dealership ad you would see on public access television.  He bobs around, making faces, stumbling through his poorly written dialogue as scene after scene has his character undergo some very uncomfortable pratfalls.  The rest of the cast does not fare any better.  They are more or less fodder for additionally unfunny moments usually either involving culturally-insensitive gags, blind jokes, or homophobic or chauvinistic sex-gags. 

Time will tell if Dan Fogler will evolve as an actor because it usually just takes that one, good performance to elevate a star beyond fat-joke-fodder.  It’s very easy to blame the cast for a film like this.  I think they did what they could with the little they had.  This is a very, very poorly written, poorly directed movie likely because Robert Ben Garant does not seem to have, or have developed, cinematic style.  The film seems to bounce all over the place, cycling between a series of genres that do not mesh because of the lack of coherency between the abundant plot points.  Sometimes, less is good.  The film’s painful blend of sports, traditional action and kung-fu just doesn’t mix well; it’s sort of grainy, a little lumpy, and lacking flavor.

The biggest problem with Balls of Fury is that the film is built upon a weak foundation.  It is filled with all of the sports movie clichés you’d expect, but the sport they chose just doesn’t work here.  The fact that people are taking ping-pong this seriously is not inherently funny.  There has to be something more in the plot to make the film interesting, and the whole F.B.I. thing is useless and weak.  You could literally remove that whole subplot and it would more or less be the same movie.

Dodgeball (hardly a masterpiece but far superior to this) did a good job of making its world believable, but it didn’t take itself seriously, which is another mistake Balls of Fury makes.  Outside of Dogeball’s weird sport, within this over-the-top world, were three-dimensional characters that seemed to exist before and after the plot, and many of them actually showed some warmth.  Having a cast of characters that aren’t just there for the gags written in the screenplay but are believable, interesting and seem to have actual relationships with each other (and chemistry.  CHEMISTRY PEOPLE!) is very important for any plot, even one as silly as this or Dodgeball’s.  Unfortunately, Balls of Fury’s cast lacks any chemistry or warmth, and are just there to carry the jokes.




The above aren’t the only reasons why this movie isn’t funny though.  In other attempts at humor they try to throw in as many B and C-List celebrities as they could to give the film geek-cred, but their roles feel less like characters and more like forced cameos.  Another problem in the gags is that many of them are just weak pratfalls.  Garant apparently doesn’t know how to close or even open a scene because about 90% of them end and/or begin with a character falling over, into, or onto something, or with something falling onto the characters.  It’s lazy, and it comes of as amateurish.

With all of the flaws in the comedy, where Balls of Fury really bites it is in that it just isn’t that interesting.  The film did a very bad job of establishing the world in which these characters exist as a believable place.  This is mostly because the characters that are in the movie are weakly fleshed out.  That doesn’t always make for a bad film, but with new characters popping up out of nowhere, random plot elements ending and beginning at really strange times and the rapidity at which this film executes each of the scenes just makes it a shoddy and weak work.  The characters seem to get lost in the shuffle, disappearing for some time and then just showing back up again, usually with little or no explanation as to what happened or where they were and why they were gone.

Balls of Fury is a broken film.  In different hands, it could have been a funny sleeper, but where it stands, it is a clichéd, boring, laugh-free sports-spoof that tries to be too many things in too many different ways.  It is a scatter-shot work that is the cinematic equivalent of a so-called “artist” that flings a few ounces of wet paint on a blank canvas and calls it a masterpiece.  There is nothing interesting about people playing ping pong, maybe about 10% of the population finds it compelling, but to mass audiences: no.  There has to be more to a film like this than lazy, poorly written gags and dumb, underwritten characters.  This is one of those movies where I like to think they wrote the jokes before they wrote the movie, just working them into an empty shell of a plot.  Balls of Fury isn’t disastrously bad like the Bounty Hunter, but it is a lot like an empty kiddy pool: colorful but shallow, and just a little painful when you jump in.

People's Choice Awards Backlash!!!

Okay, so as the unceremonious award ceremony began, early into the program an award was given to Adam Sandler.  To that I scoffed.  I continued to scoff, curse and grunt throughout the two-hour program.  The entire event was so classless, with D-List actors popping up as “cameos,” shameless product plugs for pharmacies, makeup and cell phones lame musical performances and even worse nominees and winners.  The entire event was about as enjoyable as a colonoscopy given without anesthesia by a blind gorilla with Tourette syndrome.

To say Adam Sandler deserves an award for any performance is a stretch, though some are definitely worse than others.  The fact that he received unfettered applause from the audience comprised of a few dozen “celebrities” and a few thousand fourteen year old girls is outstanding to me.  I just can’t understand how people’s taste can be so bad!  I know some will say “that’s your opinion” but I really don’t give a crap.  The fact is, there are talented people, and there are untalented people.  For an example of untalented people, let’s look at the Kardashians. 

Keeping Up With the Kardashians won what could be considered the unofficial joke award of the PCA, “Favorite Guilty Pleasure.”  I say “joke” because the other nominees included Kathy Griffin and the douche bags from the Jersey Shore.  At this point I figured, given the competition, the Kardashians winning is about the least harmful result. 

The awards for “actors” where equally suspect.  The fact that the award for Actress in a Drama Series went to Lisa Edelstein of House fame was satisfying, but only because the other nominees where a lot worse.  Glee got comedy, which is fine, but I would have liked to see 30 Rock win that.  Johnny Depp won Favorite Actor, but he hasn’t really been in a satisfying film in a few years so that win baffles me.  Though, it could have been worse because both of the male no-talent hacks from Twilight where nominated along side him.  When Depp’s name was announced I let out a breath of relief as that dreadful emo-fest of a “saga” didn’t receive accolade, but then, to my utter horror…

Kirsten Stewart won Favorite Actress.

Twilight.  I won’t go into too much detail into how much I despise this franchise, I‘ll just give it one paragraph.  I will say, I’m not the only one who hates this series, but I’m not just one of those haters that dislike it because it’s “in.”  I actually think it is cinematic trash with talent-free stars that are getting famous for acting badly and mumbling out horrible dialogue disguised as “arty“.  With infinitely superior films like An Education being ignored by American audiences, this bothers me.  You won’t get good movies if you settle for screen-trash like Twilight.  The producers and director will continue to vomit out one sequel after another until the franchise stops making money.




I was irritated by that.  Then the nominees for Favorite Movie, the big award of the night, where announced.  Toy Story, ok.  I actually didn’t see this one, not because I refused to, I just never got around to it in theatres, which is why it’s coming via DVD and you will get my full review when I receive it.  Now, Inception.  I think I’m the only person in America that wasn’t impressed by this film.  I didn’t hate Inception, I just wasn’t blown away by it.  The beginning was good, I like the idea behind it, but it was cut fast, rapidly, as if it were in a hurry to get through the exposition so the actors can start shooting things.  Then the remainder of the film is an extended chase scene and shootout that didn’t really seem to take the concept of a “dream world” far enough.  It just seemed kind of lazy.  You can defend it all you want, but after thirty straight minutes of running and shooting passed, I didn’t care anymore.  As for the final three nominees (which included the aforementioned emo bane of my existence), give me a break.  These fan-service/Hollywood-studio-pleasing nominations are pretty sad.  The Social Network was ignored, as was True Grit and the King’s Speech.  Why?  Because these films where nominated by votes from the “people.” 

The winner of Favorite Movie is what stunned me the most.  The fact that Twilight: Eclipse won is so amazing to me, yet it is also unsurprising.  The fans of this franchise continue to flock to the less-than-mediocre mess on screen.  This is what happens when “fans” choose.  The fact that great films are snubbed for the likes of Iron Man 2 and Twilight is pretty frustrating to true film fans.  If the nominees where based on actual talent, things would be a lot different.  But that would create a dilemma for the folks over there who run this mess of an awards show.

See, I mentioned earlier that this ceremony was really just a bunch of advertisements for teenager-friendly products and retailers.  They want these teenagers to watch so that they can be sold stuff.  The easiest way to do this is to get them involved and to nominate the crap they like.  That way the kiddies (and hack media maniacs like myself who put themselves through this crap) can be sold stuff. 

Hey!  Queen Latifa likes that cell phone!  I want one!  MOMMY!?!?!? 


The People’s Choice Awards used to be a valid media event.  There where nominees that fans liked, but for good movies, TV and music.  Today, it’s just a two-hour commercial filled with praise for bad movies, mediocre television and pop stars.  I am obviously not the target audience for this program, but still, if kids were exposed to superior movies, they’d have superior taste.  Unfortunately for my nerves, they don’t. 

A Little-Late Film Review: Operation-Endgame

Operation: Endgame (2010, Infinity Films; Photo: http://www.amazon.com

When I first chose this film to review, I was expecting it to be terrible, a wheel-turner with lots of violence for violence‘s sake.  I was surprised that I was actually laughing at some of the dialogue and falling in love with some of the characters.  Operation: Endgame is an action/comedy that follows a young recruit on his first day as a member of a secret group of assassins who are bunked up in an underground facility.    The cast of insane characters includes a southern girl who happens to be a homicidal psychopath and a sex-crazed gunner who inserts his codename as a pun into every line of dialogue.  During the first meeting of Fool’s new career, an alarm sounds and a countdown begins.  In two hours everything in the underground structure will be incinerated.  The assassins are being erased coinciding with the transfer of power from George W. Bush to Barack Obama, and not only are they threatened by the two hour countdown, but the assassins are turning on one another, systematically eliminating each other.  Fool, Temperance (Fool’s ex-flame who happens to work there), and a veteran killer named Chariot attempt to survive the wiles of the skilled death-dealers long enough to find an alternate way out of the building before the bombs go off.

Operation: Endgame is a very simple movie.  Hot women beating the crap out of each other and also wiping the floor with relatively unattractive men all the while trying to beat the clock.  The film is vulgar and violent; filled with bloody fight scenes and foul language.  It is also snarky, well choreographed and generally entertaining. 

Honestly, I have a hard time pinpointing what it is I liked about Operation: Endgame.  It’s not a masterpiece by any definition of the word.  It has a number of story conveniences and contrivances that reveal the simple plot as just a reason to depict violence on the screen (I always imagine the writers write the action scenes first, then write the story around them).  The film has a tiny cast, some are known stars like Zach Galifianakis, Ving Rhames, Maggie Q, and the Daily Show’s Rob Corddry; the others are relative unknowns and C-list character actors.  Also the confined space is an indicator of the film’s undersized budget.  The directorial and writing crew are all newcomers and the film had almost no major publicity.  So what is there to like?




The characters are all distinct, fun and well-written.  While most of them die before we get to know them, a scene of exposition lays them out for us.  The various assassins are more or less cartoons; over-the-top stereotypes different enough to make them distinguishable and to make them clash with each other.  The writing is quite funny and some of the death scenes are so excessive that they make you laugh more than they make you cringe (I point to the scene where one man’s face is shredded up with a paper shredder and another where a woman is killed when a half-full water cooler tank is forced into her mouth).  I have to believe this was the intention.  The über-violence is quite funny even though it really shouldn’t be.  The gore level is on par with some slasher films, still, there’s something about the deaths, given the film’s tone, that makes them more entertaining than disturbing, kind of like those in A Nightmare On Elm Street.

Operation: Endgame is only a moderately-good but still inventive action flick with a lot of cool and engaging characters.  It has flaws, but they are forgivable.  Look at it this way, I am very judgmental towards films.  I expect a lot (most of the time), but this movie was entertaining enough for me to give it a recommendation.  If I liked it, and you’re an action film fan, you will probably love it, ha.  This one is not for the kiddies, and it‘s not going to win an Oscar, but for a testosterone-fest with insane characters and lots of crazy and well-directed fight scenes, it’s a winner.