|Baby's Day Out (1994; Twentieth Century Fox)|
The film opens with Baby Bink (I KID YOU NOT!!! That’s his freaking name!) about to be photographed for the paper (for whatever reason) but the photographers are actually kidnappers. They take the baby and, uh-oh! Zaniness!!! The baby gets away and we get pratfall after pratfall as the baby is posed on screen over and over while the three idiot crooks keep getting knocked out. It’s like a really, really, really bad Road Runner cartoon, only even more repetitive.
This is a looooong hour and a half. This is a sluggish movie, and the fact that the leading character can’t FREAKING talk makes things pretty damn boring. This film was universally panned by both critics and audiences and was a massive box office bomb, barely making back a fourth of the film’s fifty-million-dollar budget. This was also another film from John Hughes. I remember when he made good movies. I don’t know what happened but if I had a time machine, I would go back to interview him and ask him what the hell he was thinking, and you know, if I had a time machine, I bet I could get an interview because, well, I would have discovered FREAKING TIME TRAVEL!