My 100 Worst Movies of the 90's - 25 - Baby's Day Out (1994)

Baby's Day Out (1994; Twentieth Century Fox)

This film is a perplexing one.  It’s a movie based on a long-forgotten children's’ book from the 50’s about a nanny who reads the titular book to a baby and the baby reenacts the trip in the taken book by visiting different landmarks in New York City.  Pleh.  This movie is boring!  The lead character is a baby crawling around while prerecorded googly noises and giggle tracks overlay each scene.  Countless bad green screen shots show crazy stuff happening in the background while the baby crawls safely along.  I HATE THIS MOVIE!!!!

The film opens with Baby Bink (I KID YOU NOT!!! That’s his freaking name!) about to be photographed for the paper (for whatever reason) but the photographers are actually kidnappers.  They take the baby and, uh-oh!  Zaniness!!!  The baby gets away and we get pratfall after pratfall as the baby is posed on screen over and over while the three idiot crooks keep getting knocked out.  It’s like a really, really, really bad Road Runner cartoon, only even more repetitive.

This is a looooong hour and a half.  This is a sluggish movie, and the fact that the leading character can’t FREAKING talk makes things pretty damn boring.  This film was universally panned by both critics and audiences and was a massive box office bomb, barely making back a fourth of the film’s fifty-million-dollar budget.  This was also another film from John Hughes.  I remember when he made good movies.  I don’t know what happened but if I had a time machine, I would go back to interview him and ask him what the hell he was thinking, and you know, if I had a time machine, I bet I could get an interview because, well, I would have discovered FREAKING TIME TRAVEL!