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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

My 100 Worst Movies of the 90's - 43 - Chairman of the Board (1998)

Carrot Top has one film credit; Just one major film credit to his name.  Why?  Have you SEEN Chairman of the Board!?  This movie is so bad, I’m amazed it got pushed back to #42.  But when I closely examined my list, I found I hated this movie just a little less than the next 41.  Ranking number 63 on IMDB’s Bottom 100 (of ALL TIME!!!), Chairman of the Board is one of those special movies that doesn’t try to be good.  In fact, I don’t think this one even tries to be a movie.

The utterly contrived plot follows a surfer named Edison (Carrot Top) who meets an elderly man who also likes to hit the waves.  When the man dies, he bequeaths his majority share of his invention company to the surfing Edison.  Edison becomes the titular chairman and reopens the defunct R&D department.  Meanwhile a disgruntled shareholder played by Larry Miller tries to sabotage Edison’s success.  

So, we have a film with a completely cliched plot, a very annoying lead, a maddeningly unfunny screenplay, and a host of unbearable gags that are all centered around Carrot Top’s stand-up comedy which is all laugh-free prop humor and the supporting cast tries to carry that hack but they aren’t given much to work with.  The late Jack Ward is wasted on this movie as the elderly surfer and that guy was in 12 Angry Men (The ORIGINAL 12 Angry Men with Henry Fonda!  One of my all-time favorite movies!), how the HELL did they get him do appear in this load of garbage?  Another wasted talent is that of Larry Miller.  The guy’s snarky attitude is perfect for satire, but this movie is not satirising anything, it is merely a forum for all of Carrot Top’s worst joke ideas.

Chairman of the Board is terrible crap; the bottom of the barrel.  The only reason why it’s not at the very bottom is Larry Miller manages to squeeze some (very, very few) laughs out of this garbage and that’s it.  Overall, this one will have you banging your head against the wall.

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