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Monday, February 20, 2012

My 100 Worst Movies of the 90's - 47 - Double Dragon (1994)

Double Dragon (1994;
A bad video game movie!  Is  there any other kind?  Double Dragon follows the video game movie trend of not even attempting to follow the game by setting Double Dragon in a post apocalyptic setting with a flooded out Los Angeles and attempts to justify itself with a lot of really bad martial arts scenes.  The movie is more forgettable than Super Mario Bros. or Street Fighter because it fails to even offend the senses as those movies do.  If there was ever a game that didn’t need to be adapted to film, Double Dragon is it.  

The plot centers on the Lee brothers who are in possession of part of an amulet of great power.  When crime boss Abobo, who has the other half, learns of the brothers, he begins a mission to obtain their half and to reunite the pieces to form the Double Dragon Amulet. The film, from start to finish, is just like the game, an aimless progression through a series of fights with nameless baddies.  It is a bore, and it is exceptionally silly.

The film has two easily recognizable faces, Robert Patrick and Scott Wolf.  Alisa Milano also has a smaller part and is just as bad as the rest of the cast.  Oh! Yeah! Then there's that creepy dude from Iron Chef America! Anyway, this is a film where everyone seems out of place, and every fight out of nowhere.  Every scene ends in somebody getting knocked out or flying into or through a stack of something.  There isn’t enough plot to keep the film interesting so the movie just spreads out a lot of poorly choreographed fights to fill in the time so it seems like a feature film rather than a short with lots and lots of filler.

I honestly cannot think of much more to say about this movie. It is far too dull to be considered truly bad, but the bad acting and paper-thin and overused plot give it a slight bump down on my list from where it would otherwise be. I also take points off for Robert Patrick's metrosexuallity that is prevalent in this film. There is no way anyone could have thought that he looked menacing or cool. Even in the early 90's!

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