My 100 Worst Films of the 90's - 14 - Mr. Nanny (1993)

Mr. Nanny (1993; New Line Cinema)

As if Santa With Muscles wasn’t bad enough, we get Mr. Nanny, a disastrous would-be comedy starring Hulk Hogan as a former pro-wrestler who agrees to act as a bodyguard to an inventor’s two bratty kids.  This is essentially a Home Alone clone featuring two diabolical kids who are constantly let down by their dad and vent their frustrations through repeated homicide attempts.

Seriously, these children are two of the most sadistic characters in the history of film.  That kid from the Good Son should hang out with these two, he might learn a few things.  These kids repeatedly try to kill Hulk Hogan because they want to be punished (... okay, then) and to push his buttons they utilize a series of over-elaborate traps that are set up around the house to bludgeon, shake or electrocute their hired nanny.  To make things even creepier, the boy’s room looks like a freaking mad scientist's lab!  Of course, because the plot says so, the Hulkster bonds with the evil kids and we get a number of scenes where Terry “Hulk Hogan” Bollea is constantly emasculated.  It all culminates in a climax involving an evil dude (played by the dude from that Car 54 Where Are You? movie) with a metal cranium who wants the kids’ dads weapons technology but really it is just an excuse to have Hulk Hogan fight some dudes.

So, is Mr. Nanny bad?  Well, it’s actually worse than bad.  It’s a freaking infuriatingly-bad cash-in.  This movie is essentially trying to cash in on the resourceful kid genre created by Home Alone but does so with two sadistic little imps who seem to get way too much joy out of their attempted homicide.  Sick kids aside, this is a stupid live-action cartoon filled with overacting, endless mugging, weak effects and bad performances all around.  Most of the actors in this movies didn’t really have huge careers to begin with and this film didn’t do much to propel them further into the A-list.  It is a disaster, and it is mostly forgotten, for good reason.